If You’re Not Making Enemies, You’re Doing It Wrong
July 22, 2011 
Author 
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Chris Brogan recently shared a post titled no enemies. And that’s a nice thought. It makes me feel fuzzy and warm inside. Except it is hardly the world we live in, and in fact I would say the opposite: if you’re not making enemies, you’re doing it wrong.
Last year I wrote a post about the fact that you need enemies and explained how they can light a fire beneath your digital marketing. I think the reasons outlined in that post still hold true today.
As Robert Greene stated in the 48 laws of power:
Law 2: Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
This law is crystal clear when you look at some of today’s most popular brands of media.
Think about it, on the web enemies are a shortcut to attention. The strategies of some of most popular sites can actually be defined in one word: conflict. There is a reason TechCrunch, Gawker and similar publications have risen to meteoric heights of popularity. They’re not making any friends by telling stories through a polarizing lens. That’s not their purpose. And in a world where every company is a media company, the approach most potent for you may not be so different.
Yet most business and people shy away from this. They’re afraid of what others might think: their bosses, peers or industry. But those things do not pose relevance for a leader who fears nothing.
As strategists we can’t be closed off to a certain approach because it carries certain risks or taboos. Just the opposite, we need to be open to any and all possibilities.
If you are truly passionate about your category your opinions about it will naturally be strong. This will run counter to what others think and that’s perfectly OK. Don’t shy away from it. I’m not saying to be disingenuous or not true to yourself. I’m not saying to lie or make things up. I’m saying to let your raw passion for what you do shine, whether that runs in opposition to others or not.
If your communications involve walking on eggshells and you’re afraid you might make an enemy or upset someone, you’re not really embracing the social web. Making enemies is a natural byproduct of being a part of our society, and thus if you’re truly being social this will happen on the web. If not, how much personality are you really injecting?
This is not a negative thing so don’t take it as such. The web and the world itself involve balance: between enemies and allies, friends and strangers, supporters and defectors. We need enemies to push us to the next level, challenge us and cause us to think and improve. They give us perspective and remind us of our purpose.
Embrace the full range of emotion and possibility in your content and interactions even if it might involve creating an enemy. Letting that stop you inevitably means falling short of your potential as a creative.
Quick end note / disclaimer: I don’t mean to make enemies randomly or simply piss people off and damage your reputation. I mean to go about it as a planned, strategic measure. If you do approach this without thought you’re going to create a much worse situation.
image credit: Shutterstock
Lee Fox replied | Jul 22, 2011 (1 comment)
Excellent, reality based essay.
Gini Dietrich replied | Jul 24, 2011 (11 comments)
We have a client who, every once in a while, will remind me it’s time to blog for my enemy for the very reasons you outline. Sometimes it doesn’t feel very good, but it not only helps your traffic, it helps open your mind. It’s the only time people disagree with you.
Danny Brown replied | Jul 24, 2011 (19 comments)
Haters gonna hate. Critics gonna crit. Sheep gonna bleat. ;-)
Danny Brown replied | Jul 24, 2011 (19 comments)
Amen, Adam.
There’s a reason for the saying, “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” If you have no enemies, you don’t grow, because you fall victim to all the Yes people that are surrounding you.
Solid post, sir.
Gini Dietrich replied | Jul 24, 2011 (11 comments)
ARGH! I can’t LOVE your haters gonna hate comment.
Mitch Mitchell replied | Jul 24, 2011 (13 comments)
Hmmm… Maybe because I tend to view such terms at their literal mass point but I’m thinking making enemies isn’t quite the way to go. I say that as someone who, when I’ve had enemies, made it my mission to crush them and embarrass them until they were totally gone and existed in my life no more.
Yes, I was that guy. I didn’t really like that guy and I’m glad to have had fewer real enemies in my life than fingers on one hand, but I was that guy. No one wanted to see me as the enemy; I didn’t quit.
So no, I don’t really think you mean enemies. I’d like to think you mean competitors, maybe not totally friendly competitors, and in that case I’d agree with you in some fashion. I don’t tend to view people who do what I do as competitors but I’m sure they view me in that way. And I could care less about their beliefs; what I care about is making sure they don’t use me and lie about me to try to get one over on someone else.
But online… I think it’s all good in a way. I’m honest, try not to be brutally honest, but I’m loathe to back down, though I know when to quit. I like working with people, and I like the few battles that don’t necessarily leave scars. But enemies… well, my dad used to say that one should view every person you work with and for as an enemy. He was career military and that’s their way of thinking. I said if I viewed people as the enemy I’d have to take them down, totally emasculate them, and make them not exist anymore. I didn’t want that in my head all the time; I don’t want it in my head now.
So, no enemies for me; I think everyone lives better that way.
Catherine Lockey replied | Jul 25, 2011 (63 comments)
Damn you Adam.
Alex Aguilar replied | Jul 26, 2011 (18 comments)
The take-no-prisoners/make enemies attitude works amazingly well for many growing media companies – but any organization with a deeply ingrained culture of utter ruthlessness and cut-throat approach to building market share will eventually face serious problems in the long run. Need I remind anyone of the recent events at News International?
Adam Singer replied | Jul 26, 2011 (597 comments)
That’s beyond “making enemies” — and into truly unethical behavior. I think that’s a line beyond enemies. You can have positive intentions for the world and still make enemies.
NYC Birthday replied | Jul 26, 2011 (1 comment)
This is a great article, and I think it is very true. In the world of business, your competitors in many ways should be just that – your enemy. In the land of social media, branding, and marketing, you stand upon a battlefield, and you really have to approach it that way sometimes. If you aren’t keeping your eyes on your opponent, and trying to figure out their next move, you have already lost.
Morgan replied | Aug 11, 2011 (1 comment)
No matter how friendly we are with each other in this industry, we still need to stand up and give our opinions about what practices that we think are right and wrong. Great post!
Benjamin Hubbert replied | Oct 12, 2011 (1 comment)
Enemy is a very strong word and I feel that it is used loosely in this post. There are a lot of SEO companies looking for enemies with their competitors or clients competitors and has the potential to backfire on them. I am a big believer in the quote “the ultimate revenge is massive success”, Frank Sinatra. Some people are out there just looking for things they don’t understand and cast stones. It is really sad, but it is the world we live in.